Shantay Robinson
Feb 5, 2026
Enjoying life is one of the most important things you can do. It’s fuel to the soul, especially during tough times. It doesn’t have to be expensive. For me, it’s a trip to the museum, reading a good book, or bingeing a series on demand. Recently I’ve been trying to carve out more time for those things that make me happy. Because for so long, the only thing that kept me sane was working to get out of the rut my mental illness had subjected me to.
I was in survival mode.
It wasn’t until the summer after I completed my dissertation and was reading books for pleasure that I came across Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life by Jamie Kern Lima. In the book, she describes the condition of survival mode, and I noticed the signs in myself. All the rushing, overworking, anxiety, and no downtime. At the time that I was reading Lima’s book, I was in a peaceful space; I didn’t feel like I was rushing anymore. My dissertation was done. I earned my doctorate. I was calm and content.
Survival mode is a natural defense mechanism that I operate in more often than not. It’s a result of trauma and instability. Being diagnosed with schizophrenia is a traumatic experience that made me unsure of the outcome of the diagnosis. Based on stereotypes, I didn’t know who I was going to turn out to be. Imagining the future was difficult because I wasn’t sure what it meant to have a mental illness, so I focused on my immediate needs. Dreams were too far-fetched. I needed instant gratification for survival.
Being in survival mode doesn’t feel like thriving because there’s no time to appreciate the fruits of your labor. Moving from one task to the next without acknowledging successes makes life seem uneventful. To be honest, life has been uneventful. Not celebrating birthdays or accomplishments and simply moving on to the next work obligation with the hope of one day feeling successful is not enjoyable.
The awareness of operating in survival mode has sparked a change in me. When I am finished with my work, I give myself permission to catch up on pleasurable reading or stream the latest hit show. I also take time to cook for myself and I enjoy it as time well spent. It’s amazing how identifying survival mode seems to allow me to create space and time for myself. As I put my well-being first, I am noticing the universe is making space and time for me and the pleasurable things I want to do. It feels like time has slowed down.
As I slow down and take more time for myself, more time seems to be given to me. The luxury of the time given feels like thriving instead of merely surviving.